Positive Vibes Only

Positive Vibes Only:

The Neglect of the Human Experience in the New Age

Guest blog by: Amy Riley

Astrologer, Astro Herbalist, Artist

Everyone experiences reality differently; everything is filtered through our own lens. I do not claim that my views are the only view, or that the ways I have been shown are the only ways. Ultimately what you receive and what you reject should be up to your own inner guidance. With this in mind I will begin writing about the topic at hand. I have seen in the past years a movement towards embracing the “positive” aspects of the human experience. In and of itself, this is not a bad thing! There is a lot of light and beauty in being alive. The part of this that I take issue with is the avoidance of the “negative”. People reject or push back others who are going through tumultuous times with the belief that their own energy will be negatively affected if they are to engage. Similarly, people reject or refuse to acknowledge the parts of themselves that are hidden in the shadows due to fear they may lower their vibration if they engage. In this post, I propose radical self acceptance and the art of integration as the antidote to this belief in order to fully embrace the human experience.

Firstly, let’s look at the potential origins of the belief that we must prioritize the experience of “positive” thoughts and emotions. We may hear this advice from someone we consider superior. There are systems of inferiority and superiority that we create within our society and that is reflected even within the spiritual community. People assign labels and titles; Master, Guru, Shaman, High Priestess, and so forth. They look at your degrees, certifications, and age to gauge the value of what is said. People look at others’ material successes. On the one hand, they may value someone who has been highly successful financially. They may see them as a master manifester, taking control of their destiny and using the systems of the current world to their benefit. On the other hand, people may place higher value on those with less material success. In various religions and cultures, shunning expensive goods is seen as more holy and good. Depending on the people you look up to, and the people you surround yourself with, you may have been led to believe that good and positive feelings will lead to a fulfilling and joyous spiritual life and that having negative emotions or being around people with “bad vibes” will drag you into a trap that will drain you and prevent you from ascending beyond the third dimension.

I believe in the idea of integration over the idea of ascension. My experience with the idea of ascension is that it bypasses the fullness of our experience here. It emphasizes “getting over” negative experiences. Integration is about allowing ourselves to feel all of our feelings without judgment. It acknowledges that some things are not transformed or transmuted once and subsequently finished. We accept that we may be engaged in a continuous process of grief and relief, of hurting and healing. We are capable of holding simultaneous emotions, we are capable of holding ourselves in our totality. We stop looking at it as a battle between our positive and negative emotions and begin to see that all emotions and experiences bring lessons and hold value. We learn through experience, we learn through perceived opposites. We don’t feel our full capacity of joy without feeling our full capacity for sadness.The process becomes the path.

How we react to our thoughts and how we process our emotions becomes more important than the names and labels of them. Instead of pushing people away, we become more welcoming. We accept people where they are, and accept the idea that there are multiple paths of healing and knowing. This does not mean accepting abuse, we can protect our emotional capacity and well-being through boundaries. This is not the same as pushing people away when they are going through a low point. In the first case, you are accepting the person as they are and making choices based on knowing your own capability. It is an empowered choice. In the second case, you are making a judgment, choosing to see this person as “negative”, and distancing yourself out of fear. It is a disempowered choice.

Holding onto the idea that ascension is the only spiritual path can be a form of escapism. In a tumultuous world it’s a natural coping mechanism. We wish to reach a place without pain or strife. We desire to reach a place of peace, love, and freedom. These inter-dimensional places exist and can be accessed at all times. It can be tempting to live there as much as possible. However, we chose to incarnate on Earth at this time for a reason. From my vantage point, the reason is not to escape but to integrate the lessons we learn in these states with the third dimensional human experience. We are god, we are energy, we are spirit, but we are also human. The human existence is sacred and deserves our love and connection to it.

I believe in the idea of radical self acceptance over spiritual hierarchies. The spiritual path is not linear. It is not a staircase with levels applicable across all humanity.  People come in with their own missions. It’s not that we’re above or below another due to areas where we’ve learned and advanced, or areas where we’ve “regressed” or repeated a cycle that we recognize isn’t serving our best interest. Growth and progress are not linear. It is less of a line and more like a series of roller-coasters that go up, down, upside-down, in large loops, and in tight spirals. There are new experiences and new sensations, and there are familiar ones. Sometimes you choose to experience something new, sometimes you choose what feels familiar. Both experiences carry lessons and hold value. If clinging to the familiar makes you feel nauseous and dizzy, you can always choose a new ride. The important difference is whether you are going along with your eyes closed or your eyes open.

I do not subscribe to the idea of being fully healed or ascended. I see it as a way to fall into patterns of judgment and perfectionism. The idea that if you’re beyond certain spiritual experiences you have become “more” or that you have become beyond reproach, immune to any criticism, ultimately comes from a state of fear. It is a fear that you are not good enough as you are, a fear that you can not be held in your wholeness. You may have held this idea that perhaps if you know more and carry more evidence of your spiritual experiences, you will be heard, you will be seen, and you will be valued.

The art of radical self acceptance does not mean we aren’t accountable for ourselves. It does not mean that we have become so satisfied with where we are that we “stop growing” or “become lazy”. We refer to our experiences as spiritual journeys and not spiritual destinations for a reason. It is walking our paths in our day to day life that takes us closer to knowing ourselves and spirit. Sometimes it feels like the path has ended. It is often more of a plateau; as you keep walking you discover there is more to see. It is a continuous, constant process but we accept and value ourselves during each and every part of it. Inferiority is not our motivating factor, we see ourselves as whole and worthy of acceptance as we are. Superiority does not motivate us, we see the innate value in every being and the validity of their own process. We continue to learn, heal, or grow because we want to know more of ourselves.

We listen to our own inner guidance above all other sources of information. Some people see this as the soul, the intuition, or the higher self. When we listen and follow our own path, we can see the beauty and interconnectedness of all the paths. We are the authority of our lives, and each other person is the authority of their own. Interestingly, this means that from my point of view people who choose the path of only walking in light, upholding spiritual hierarchies, and working towards ascension have inherent value and worth here on Earth. I cannot say that this path should not be followed because it also holds lessons and growth for those who chose it. If this information has come from their own inner knowing, then I believe they should follow it. I am only the authority of my own path, so all I offer is another perspective.

You may wonder how I have reached these conclusions, and where these ideas came from. I lived for some years in an area where people hadn’t much interest in spirituality at all. I had to rely on my own spirit for guidance because there wasn’t anyone else to look towards. In following my intuition, I came upon different books, videos, classes, and theories. I felt inside what parts were aligned and which were not. Generally the information put into my path only confirmed that which I already knew; often it gave me the vocabulary to discuss my experience and provided more layers to my knowledge. Since I was somewhat isolated in my spiritual re-awakening, I believe this helped me to develop inner communication skills and self trust.

I began shadow work some years ago believing that if I did it, I would be fully healed and integrated. I did not approach it with thoughts of “killing the ego” but with the idea that listening, accepting, and transforming my shadows would lead me into greater experiences of light. I also deemed myself unlovable due to my shadows and thought that through change I could be accepted and loved. I could see later that these were the hurt parts of me speaking. I found that when the light reached the depths, there were more shadows lurking than I’d initially thought. Each shadow had its own voice. I went through an intense summer of meeting them, and finding compassion for them. I found that these parts of me I hid, the parts I found undesirable, held great wisdom. I saw weaknesses transformed into strengths. I could see beauty in the parts I once thought made me ugly.

I learned that working every single day to heal and grow had just become another way of chasing perfectionism. Underlying all of it was a fear that if people were to see me and understand me in my totality, I could not be accepted. I have not healed completely and I don’t believe I will. I expect my darkness and my light will ebb and flow throughout the rest of my life. I believe that I have chosen key themes to work on through this life and that they will appear from time to time. The difference is that I can see it in real time as it happens and hold space for the experience to occur. I know how I am likely to respond based on past patterns, and can make choices to respond differently. Each time another layer of knowing, growth, and healing occurs. The process is my path.

Lovingly I meet you on our spiritual journey…

In totality,
Amy Riley
Astrologer, Astro Herbalist, Artist
My Etsy shop https://astroherbalism.etsy.com